My review of the short story "AAA"

Check out my review of the short story "AAA" written by Jo Page in Five Star Literary Stories.

Five Star Literary Stories combines three integral facets of the writing life: publisher, story, and reviewer. Each story is editor-nominated and considered one of the best the mag has published.

This is how it works: an editor of an online magazine nominates a short story or flash fiction from his/her archives. The editor writes a blurb about his/her mag and a blurb about the nominated story. Then another author reviews the story. Check it out! Leave a comment!

Review of JIMI HENDRIX TURNS EIGHTY

JIMI HENDRIX TURNS EIGHTY, by Tim Sandlin

It's 2022 (the year Hendrix would have turned 80) and the old time hippies of California (with a few New Yorkers thrown in for good measure) are now back together, this time in an assisted-living home. It's been a long time since the Summer of Love, but you wouldn't know it by the antics of the residents: sex, drugs, and rock n' roll still rule the day. The only problem? The woman who runs the joint does so with an iron fist, even to the point of having her boy toy staff doctor over medicate some of the residents to keep them in line. Well, as she soon finds out, these elderly hippies have one last rebellion left in their old bones. Sandlin keeps the pace fast with short chapters and lots of dialogue. Funny stuff, but also some good musing on aging. 3 1/2 stars.

By the way, did you know my comic novel Into the Sunset also takes place in an assisted-living home? Much different plot, though, about a young man who disguises himself as an elderly gent to live in one of these communities. :-)

Fallen Idol

I can't believe I invested a whole season of Tuesday nights and Wednesday nights (and even some Monday nights in the beginning) all just to see the mediocre talent of Kris Allen rewarded. Adam Lambert ruled American Idol this year, like no other contestant before him ever did. He was (and is) a star on every level: Performance, arrangement, style, out-of-this-world vocals. And then some nice guy-next-door, who probably shouldn't have even been in the Top 5, gets more votes?!? Oh well, at least Lambert won't have to record and release Kara's lame-ass song now.

My Trip To the New Yankee Stadium

I went to my first game at the new Yankee Stadium on Wednesday, April 22, a day game against the Oakland A's. I'm still blown away that the place is already open for business. It seems to have all happened so fast. Over the last couple of years I've literally seen this place rise as I've passed it on the Deegan Expressway.

Parking is still a bitch (and expensive—$19), especially with the old Stadium still standing, and other construction still ongoing. A new Metro-North train station is almost complete, and will be my mode of transportation in the future.

Literally across the street from the old Stadium, you enter the new Stadium into the Great Hall, highlighted by two-sided banners of Yankees legends. This hall leads to different locations: the official Yankees store, Monument Park (get there early to see this. We didn't make it in time), the Yankees Museum, and the lower level of seats. The old Stadium is visible through the windows.



The Yankees Museum is a new feature, and includes the expected memorabilia like bats and balls and uniforms highlighting the different eras of Yankee dynasties. The latest era is called the "Derek Jeter Era" (I wonder what Mariano, O'Neill, Pettitte, and Torre think of that) and includes the championship trophies. Overall the museum was a little disappointing; hopefully they will continue to update it.

The most impressive part of the new Stadium is that everything is so open. While you are walking to your section, you can actually see the field. If you get up to buy a beer or hot dog, or to use the bathroom, you can just turn around and still watch the game. You don't feel like you've left the building, as you did in the old place.



Once in my seats I was reminded why I stopped going to games in April. There was a steady rain until probably around the fifth or sixth inning. Never hard enough to delay the game, just enough to keep you soggy.


We explored a bit during the game (we had time, it ended up going extra innings), and were happy to see that the bleachers section can now be reached from the rest of the Stadium. The Bleacher Creatures are no longer segregated. As with the rest of the Stadium, the walkways are wide and open, and the bleachers offer a good view at a cheap price:


We went back to our seats, and after the top of the 14th, we explored again, and made our way down a level and closer to home plate. Here we got to see Melky Cabrera, one of my favorite players, hit a walk-off homerun. Here is the resulting celebration:

Because of the rain and the extra innings (not to mention it was a day game), by the time we left, the Stadium was already half empty. It STILL took us an hour to get out of the parking lot and onto the Deegan. This, I guess, was in case I needed any further proof that I should take the train from now on.

All in all, and despite the rain, it was worth every penny of the $2,500 I spent on the ticket. Just kidding. Really, it was just 50 bucks.

Bea Arthur dies

The very funny lady died at 86 on Saturday. She was probably best known for her role in The Golden Girls, but I remember her as Archie Bunkers' liberal cousin Maude in the old All In the Family TV series. We first saw her in the episode when she came to take care of the Bunkers when everyone was sick with the flu:

She was such a hit in All In the Family that she got her own spinoff sitcom out of it, simply called Maude, which took place in the Manhattan suburb of Tuckahoe, NY (where I lived until last August. I never bumped into Maude.). Then, of course, she went on to The Golden Girls which also starred Betty White and Rue McClanahan.

11 years and the finale still sucks

Fox 5, which runs Seinfeld repeats in New York at 7:30 weeknights, last night once again aired the final episode. I caught part of it, but really, I can't watch this episode anymore for a couple of reasons: 1) they play it too often, 2) it still sucks.

Originally aired by NBC on May 14, 1998 (the day Frank Sinatra died), the episode was watched by 76 million viewers (58 percent of all viewers that night), and was the third most watched finale in TV history behind M*A*S*H (don't even get me started on that finale. It took me 20 years to get over that fiasco. Guess I have another 9 years to go for Seinfeld) and Cheers.

The challenge of writing a finale is, How do you make it good? If a show has been on a long time, you've basically milked it dry of ideas. It's not as good anymore. Writers, producers, directors, even actors have come and gone. The show is running on fumes. How do you recapture the original spark, get the edge back? Sadly, most shows can't. For a show as great and groundbreaking as Seinfeld, it was even more of a challenge. That's what co-creator Larry David faced when he sat down to write the final episode.

The finale's basic plot has the four central characters on a private NBC jet headed for Paris. Kramer, who has water in his ear, hops up and down to get it out, which somehow causes engine trouble, forcing the plane to make an unexpected stop in a small town in Massachusetts. While the plane is being repaired, the four take to the streets, and witness an obese man getting carjacked. Instead of helping him, they make jokes and video tape the crime. They are then arrested for violating a Good Samaritan law, and soon are put on trial. The joke being that they were charged for "doing nothing," when that was the whole idea of the show, a sitcom about "nothing." Sound funny yet?

During the trial, seemingly every minor character from throughout the series takes the stand to testify how horrible and self-centered the four are. Each character repeats his/her signature catch phrase ("You are a very bad man") as they recap how the four did them wrong. Now does it sound funny? There are also little inside jokes, like the judge being named Arthur Vandelay (a nod to Art Vandelay, George's architect alter ego). But the jokes aren't funny, and come off flat.

The trial ends with them found guilty, and sentenced to a year in jail. While they are all sitting in the jail cell together, Jerry and George have a conversation about shirt buttons, which is the way the series' first episode began.

For me, the road to the final episode was long. I was a fan of Jerry Seinfeld before the sitcom that beared his name, back when he used to appear regularly on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. When NBC gave Seinfeld a series (first called the Seinfeld Chronicles) I couldn't wait to watch it. Then in the early days of Seinfeld I saw him perform at Carnegie Hall. So I was a big fan right from the get-go.

Which all leads to the anticipation I felt for the finale. What would they do? How would it end? Would Larry David totally reinvent the concept of series finales? To my horror, I wasn't laughing, and as the clock ticked I kept hoping against hope that somehow it would turn around. I was waiting for it to get funny, or that in the very least, the end would be so fantastic and original, that the first horrible hour wouldn't matter.

I'm still waiting.

Aye Carumba! Simpsons Stamps!

Twenty years ago, a bratty little scamp named Bart and his disfunctional family saved the fledgling Fox network and made them legit. And believe it or not, the show is still going strong, and is still a cash cow for Fox.

Now it's time for The Simpsons, the longest-running primetime comedy in television history, to save the United States Post Office, who are low on cash and considering reducing their delivery days from six a week to five.

On May 7, the USPS releases their new Simpsons Stamps nationwide. They are also offering framed art of the stamps. I'm no stamp collector, but I'll be all over these. I'm going to order some of the framed art, too.

“We are emotionally moved by the Postal Service selecting us rather than making the lazy choice of someone who has benefited society,” said James L. Brooks, executive producer of The Simpsons. The USPS receives around 50,000 suggestions for stamp subjects each year, and selects around 20. My guess is they chose the Simpsons with hopes that they would generate a lot of extra revenue.

UPDATE: I just ordered the 11x22 inch framed giclée print of all five stamps. The post office is now $71.90 richer.

First Bike Ride of the Year

We've had a long, cold winter in New York this year. I felt like a bear in hibernation. But finally, the warm weather is here! It's 60 degrees, and I have the day off of work. What better chance to get my mountain bike up and running, air in the tires, oil on the chain? It felt good to finally be out there riding on the Old Croton Aqueduct Trail again. I took a nice 46-minute ride (yes, I timed it), and my legs felt nice and rubbery when I returned home and got off my bike. Of course, I forgot to stretch my legs beforehand.

Saturday Update: Today it was a 43-minute ride. Really feels good to be back out there. And yes, I remembered to stretch before the ride today.

On Self Publishing

I'm a member of an online writers workshop. There is a very active message board, and occasionally the subject of self publishing comes up. It is usually hotly debated, with some people vehemently opposed to the idea, while others view it as a viable option to the long haul of trying to get something published by one of the traditional houses. I try to steer clear of these arguments, because it's rather pointless. Either you believe in self publishing or you don't. To me it's the abortion issue of publishing. You can argue all you want, but in the end it's useless. You're not going to change anyone's mind. Anyway, I thought I'd post my response here, too:

I self published my first novel, Into the Sunset, after several near-misses landing an agent. I was frustrated and worried that someone else would come up with a similar plot as my novel, which would have completely screwed any chances I had of landing a "traditional" publisher. I still believe my novel is good enough for a small publisher, or even a large house. Would it have benefited from another pair (or two) of editorial eyes on it? Of course. What wouldn't?

But that's not to say my manuscript didn't go through an editorial process. I had my former creative writing teacher read an early draft. She gave me extensive notes which were invaluable to me, since this was my first attempt at a novel. Later drafts were read by fellow authors, and I received some constructive feedback. I workshopped several chapters in my writing group. Additional comments I received from agents were also incorporated into the mss. Finally, before I went to print, I had someone who works in publishing proofread the manuscript (I'm proud to say I have only found a few typos in the finished product, much less than most hardcovers I read).

I am glad to see self-publishing making slow, but steady strides. There are even awards, such as the Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards. Not all self published books are crap. Tom's point in another thread was that readers just want a good book to read, and they aren't looking at who published the book. This is true to a degree; the problem, though, is if you have written and published a great book (or a good one, or a shitty one), how do you get that prospective reader to know your book exists? That's the rub. And there IS still a stigma against self-pubbed books, though I think that will slowly change as better books are published. Let's face it, publishing is in flux right now, houses want to go with the tried and true, and not many authors can actually make a living being a novelist.

I am seeking an agent for my second novel (as I work on my 3rd and 4th), but I have no delusions that I will score big and quit my day job. So, having that attitude, it doesn't bother me if I have to self-pub again in the future. At least I'll have complete control over the product, including cover design. I will not allow myself to put out something I don't consider ready.

So my advice to those considering self-publishing: Go in with your eyes open, expect to work hard, and put out the best product you can. This includes workshopping your manuscript, getting it proofread, and please, please get a professional to design the cover. You can judge a book by its cover. ; ) Oh, and don't expect to make money.

By the way, I consider these endless arguments about self-publishing absurd. It's the abortion issue of the writing world. If you don't want to self-pub, DON'T. If you are pro self-pub, then you can pursue that route if you choose.

U2 Does New York

U2 took NYC by storm this week to promote their new CD No Line on the Horizon. They played David Letterman's Late Show every night (and sounded awesome), had part of Broadway temporarily renamed "U2 Way," and gave a free concert at Fordham University on Friday morning. And they are due to announce their tour dates on Monday.

That's NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg on the left, thinking about his stocks.

As a U2 fan, it's exciting to see them out there doing all this promotion, sounding great, and getting exposure. Being the biggest band in the world, they almost don't need to do all this. People have been waiting for four years for new material. And besides, No Line on the Horizon is seriously one of the best CDs they have ever released. I'm too lazy to go through it track by track here, but I'll sum it up by saying it is one of those records that gets better with each listen. Better still with headphones. There is a lot of meat on these bones.

U2's setlist at Fordham: Get On Your Boots; Magnificent; I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight; Beautiful Day; Breathe; Vertigo.

John Lydon Likes Country Life

Country Life butter, that is. Lydon, who rose to fame as Johnny Rotten in 1977 as the sneering lead singer the Sex Pistols, one of the original punk bands, has made a funny commercial for the British butter company.

Rotten and the Sex Pistols have always been anti-establishment, anti-authority, and definitely anti-Royalty. Still. They didn't even show up for their own induction into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame a few years ago. So is this a "sell out"? I don't think so. Just Lydon having some fun. And hell, even punk rockers need to butter their toast.

"People know I only do things that I want to or that I believe in and I have to do it my way," said Lydon. "I've never done anything like this before and never thought I would, but this Country Life ad was made for me and I couldn't resist the opportunity."

Tom Saunders, interviewed

Tom Saunders, author of the new short story collection Roof Whirl Away has been interviewed by Ian Hocking. Click here to read interview.

To read my review of Roof Whirl Away, click here.

The Boys of Summer Hit Spring Training

After the frigid winter we've had (are still having?), it's great to see baseball's spring training camps officially open. An exciting year is on tap for us Yankee fans, what with the new Yankee Stadium (below) opening in April, and the additions of starting pitchers CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, not to mention first baseman Mark Teixiera.


(Stadium photos from http://slidingintohome.blogspot.com)

U2 to spend a week on "Letterman"

This just in...U2 will be David Letterman's musical guest for a whole week, from March 2-6. Their new CD "No Line on the Horizon" will released March 3.

Now I just have to stay awake.

UPDATE: Thurs., March 5.
So far I've been able to stay awake for the first three nights! U2 sounds awesome. In case you miised it, you can catch it on Youtube or Letterman's CBS page.

U2's Pop

U2's new CD No Line On the Horizon is due to be released March 3, so in anticipation, I've begun to listen to some of the older ones. Released in 1997, Pop has probably been the worst received CD in U2's catalogue. I've defended this disc from the beginning, but there was always something I didn't like about it, something nagging. But I couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered me.

The individual songs are good: "Staring at the Sun" is a slick guitar pop song that got tons of airplay, "Last Night On Earth" is a typical U2 anthem, "Gone" is a soaring Edge showcase. "If God Will Send His Angels" is a slower song that would fit well on many other U2 CDs. Then there are the more experimental tunes, like the electronic "Mofo" and "Discotheque," along with "Do You Feel Loved," "Please," and "Wake Up Dead Man." Good songs all.

So what's the problem? Seems like there are a lot of good individual songs there, that you can really sink your teeth into. Well, it's taken me nearly 12 years, but I think I've finally figured it out. The CD feels more like a compilation than a cohesive collection. Pop doesn't have that central theme, like the longing of The Joshua Tree with its religious imagery, or the crunchy sound of Achtung Baby's breakup songs, or the American folk/blues of Rattle and Hum. Plus the over-the-top PopMart tour put some people off. Even if they got the tongue in cheek joke of it all, it seemed too much for the U2 image to handle. The overriding question was, Why?

I think even U2 felt they misfired a bit, and on their Best Of 1990-2000 collection they remixed the songs from Pop, but they miscalculated again. The songs didn't need remixing, and in fact sound worse. The songs weren't the problem, it was all the songs together that didn't flow right.

After Pop U2 took three years off, regrouped, and returned with the classic U2 sound with 2000's hugely successful All That You Can't Leave Behind, followed by the 2004 release How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. Now the follow-up to that is imminent and I can't wait to hear the new sounds they have cooked up.

Boomerang Kids

There is an article in the Boston Globe today about "Boomerang Kids." Boomerang kids are adult children who return home to live with their parents. This is a major subplot in my comic novel Into the Sunset (I also call them boomerang kids). My character Wayne is an editor who is writing an article on the subject. Basically, it is the same article as the one in the Boston Globe! Here is the link:

Boomerang Kids

Dodger and Me

Dodger and Me, written by Jordan Sonnenblick.

I loved this book. Basic plot: loser kid (Willie) sucks at baseball, has an overprotective mother, tries to avoid an annoying girl (Lizzie), and is lonely after his best friend moves away. Enter a possibly imaginary blue chimp named Dodger wearing surfer shorts and an eye patch, who may or may not be a genie, and who may or may not help him overcome his problems. Along the way, and under Dodger's watch, things get way worse for Willie before they can get better.

Will Willie improve his baseball skills and help his team win the championship? Will his mother stop fussing over him so much? Will Lizzie ever leave him alone? Will he survive Dodger's plans to improve his life? And more importantly—what will his three wishes be?

The thing that really makes this YA novel pop is the writing. Just before reading Dodger and Me, I read another YA book from the same publisher. Good plot, likable lead characters, but the writing was just awful. But I finished it, and moved on to Dodger. What a breath of fresh air! The writing is engaging, funny, and just plain readable. As a writer myself, I think the best compliment I can give this book is that it is one of those books you come across that you wish you had written first. You don't have to be a young adult to enjoy Dodger and Me. Go get it!

Dodger and Me

Lost Season 5-Destiny Calls

Here is the poster for Season 5 of Lost. The new season starts Wednesday January 21, 2009! Before this summer, I had never seen even one episode of this show. Then I took the first three seasons out of the library and watched them all obsessively—3, 4, 5 episodes a day. The library only gives you a week, so basically I watched three seasons in three weeks. Do the math: 21 days and 69 episodes. Season 4 was less stressful: I bought the DVD set, and there were only 13 episodes due to the writers strike. So now I am officially caught up, after completing Season 4 this past weekend. It's going to really suck having to wait a week between episodes now.

Lostpedia

John Lennon's "One Laptop Per Child" Commercial

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame-NYC Annex

Well, they finally just opened (yesterday) the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Annex in New York, on Mercer Street in SOHO. I checked it out today and want to share my take on it. But first, a rant.

I can't be the only person to wonder why the original museum is located in Cleveland, especially since the induction ceremonies have always been in NYC. I'm sure the city of Cleveland isn't happy about this fact, as they are losing a lot of tourist money. For instance, Major League Baseball has their Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. And guess where they have the induction ceremony? That's right, Cooperstown. They make a whole weekend out of it, with fans booking their hotel rooms months in advance, then descending on the town and dropping loads of cash while getting to see the new inductees, along with returning HOF members. But, whatever. At least NYC now has a branch of the R&R HOF and I don't have to go to Cleveland.


Photo: Richard Perry/The New York Times)

I bought my "preview" ticket online. It was $26.01 for the ticket, $3 service charge, and $1.50 extra because I wanted to pick up the ticket at the Will Call window. Total $30.51. Coat check was free. The tour starts in a room designed to look like a pub/rock club, with brick walls, wood floor, multi-colored stage lights, and stools arranged to face a large video screen. A history of Rock & Roll film is shown—all live performances—while quotes about the artist, concert posters, and accompanying footage are simultaneously shown on the other walls. The sound system is good, and loud, and I found myself tapping my foot throughout this segment.

When this part is over, you enter the exhibit part of the museum, and are given an iPod-like device with headphones. As you wander through the displays, music appropriate for each artist automatically plays. There seemed to still be some glitches here, because more than a few times the wrong artist played, or it stopped altogether and I had to hit the play button again. But all in all, it was OK, and a neat idea.


Photo: Richard Perry/The New York Times)

I don't want to give too much away, and ruin some of the surprises, but I will say the Beatles memorabilia was a little lacking, especially since two landmark events happened in NYC: the Ed Sullivan Show appearances, and the Shea Stadium concerts. These were not represented at all. They had one of Ringo's bass drum skins with the Beatles logo (see above), a prototype Vox hybrid guitar/organ of John Lennon's, some postcards the boys wrote to fans, and that's about it. Then elsewhere there was a studio piano Lennon used on some of his 70s records (but didn't own), but of more interest to me was his hand-drawn "Hair Peace" poster used during his and Yoko's famous bed-in for peace honeymoon (see pic below. Yes, that's the best I could do). I just stared at the poster, and envisioned John hunched over a table, or laying on the floor hand coloring the letters.


Bruce Springsteen fans will be happy, as a whole small room is dedicated to the Boss. Included is the actual 1957 Chevy Bel Air convertible that he owned in the 70s! Fans of the recently departed CBGBs will feel at home, with a small recreation of the famous club that includes the awning, some of the grungy bar tables and stools, graffiti covered doors, and even a urinal! No, you can't use the urinal.

Other highlights were an Elvis jumpsuit, Johnny Cash's cowboy boots (they were so high I wondered how he got them on—or off), a guitar smashed by Prince, and David Byrne's famous big suit.


The featured exhibit (in the large room before you exit) spotlights The Clash. Here they have handwritten lyrics, the outfits they wore on stage (including the military-style ones used for the Combat Rock album and tour), guitars, and even an old manual typewriter Joe Strummer used to write some lyrics. A live Clash concert is continually playing, and I stood there for quite a while just watching this exciting band do their thing.

Was it worth the 30 bucks? I think so. I spent nearly two hours going through all the exhibits, reading the handwritten lyrics, watching the videos, and listening to some good rock and roll.

NY Times article