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Saturday, June 07, 2008

Interview with an Amorous Woman


Recently, I reviewed the excellent erotic novel Amorous Woman, by Donna George Storey. Now, I'd like to share with you a revealing interview I conducted with the author.
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Donald Capone: The novel opens and closes with Lydia—the title character in AW—back in San Francisco, having sworn off sex forever. Of course, I doubted her word from the beginning. Will the Amorous Woman return to her old tricks? Is there a sequel in the works?

Donna George Storey: That’s a very good question. Amorous Woman is my first novel and I discovered in the writing process that—as all of those how-to-write-a-novel guidebooks suggest—my characters soon developed wills of their own and didn’t always listen to me when I wanted them to do or say something for the sake of my plot. So I’m not sure I can predict what Lydia will get up to with American men, but I’m pretty sure it will be new tricks rather than old ones. So far there is no direct sequel in the works, but I am in the early stages of writing a novel about another amorous woman whose desires take her on an exotic journey. Except this time it’s not to Japan, it’s a trip back into the erotic mysteries of twentieth-century America.

DC: Many readers will take AW to be autobiographical, especially since it is written in first person (always one of the dangers of first-person narration). What percentage of it is autobiographical, and do you get strange looks from relatives now?

DGS: Although my real-life adventures in Japan were not quite so wild and edgy as Lydia’s, much of it is drawn from my own experiences. For example, I really did have dinner in a deluxe, three-hundred-year-old restaurant in Kyoto with a charming dentist one beautiful August evening and had an informal marriage meeting (a.k.a. blind date) with a salaryman who’d traveled to Europe on his own. About 50% of the book comes from my firsthand experiences plot-wise, but all of it incorporates my sensual reactions to Japanese culture, which I hope gives the reader the flavor of taking their own trip to that country. My close relatives have gotten used to my erotic writing years ago, but certain friends may be shocked when they read the book now that it’s available in the US. I’ll keep a watch for strange looks!


The author in front of Chimoto restaurant—serving fine dinners to dentists and their guests since 1718

DC: Memoirs are still going strong. Did it ever cross your mind to pitch this as a memoir to ease the road toward publication?

DGS: No, writers get in a lot of trouble for that and although they say any publicity is good publicity, I’d rather not take on that stress. There are so many memoirs from Japan travelers, no need to add mine to the crowd, plus I enjoyed the freedom fiction provided to let me express my truths about intimate relationships between Japan and the US.

DC: How did AW land with NEON, a British publisher?

DGS: This is in part another answer to the last question. One reason I wasn’t tempted to write a memoir is because I didn’t really know I was going to write a book at all. Orion in the UK wanted to start a line of high-quality erotic fiction to be called Neon, and they asked erotica editor Maxim Jakubowski (he does the annual Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica) to commission twenty-some novels from authors he knew. He asked me if I had something and I put together a proposal from an idea that had been simmering for a while. Apparently they liked it and asked me to be part of it. The book came out in the UK last fall.


The author wearing traditional kimono in Japan (1984)

DC: Any plans to translate AW into Japanese for publication in Japan?

DGS: I would love for the novel to be translated into Japanese. The Japanese have traditionally been interested in Western views of their culture and I think my novel provides an unusual perspective. Because it’s inspired by one of their classics, the 17th century Life of an Amorous Woman, I’m sure many readers would recognize aspects of the story I borrowed, such as the frame of two younger men asking an experienced older woman to educate them by sharing the story of her sexual adventures. I also tried to transcend stereotypes and give the reader more complex portraits of the Japanese. AW has no gangsters with missing pinkies or slobbering businessmen bent on world domination while dabbling in white slavery on the side. Even the housewives have interesting secret lives—writing pornography!


The author NOT wearing a traditional kimono

DC: Asteroids are heading toward Earth. Scientists predict there will be no survivors. You are chosen to pick the complete works of three authors to go into a time capsule for future intelligent beings to discover. Who are the three authors?

DGS: I’m going to be mostly selfish with a bit of civic duty thrown in. I have to go with Alice Munro’s complete works as my first choice for the time capsule. She captures the complexity and magic of the ordinary so well. Jun’ichiro Tanizaki, a great Japanese novelist of the twentieth century, does an excellent job of describing the confrontation of Eastern and Western sensibilities. I’d also pick the complete works of Richard Rhodes, a nonfiction writer who is known for the Pulitzer-Prize-winning The Making of the Atomic Bomb, as well as other books about nuclear energy, and the horrifying Masters of Death about the SS-Einsatzgruppen. That will give these intelligent beings a pretty good idea of the horrors we humans wreak. Rhodes also wrote an interesting memoir called Making Love: An Erotic Odyssey. It’s not pretty reading either, but it struck me as an honest confession of the sex life of an American male in the 20th century. Those are pretty rare.

DC: Give an example of how NOT to write an erotic scene.

DGS: First, the scene:

From the moment dreamboat-handsome Reginald walked into the room, all eyes were upon him. Yet his gaze was fixed only on beauteous Belinda, whose blonde mane and melon breasts bespoke her career as a supermodel. Belinda walked toward him, as if enchanted by those steel gray eyes. She was already flushed and moist between her legs. He took her arm and led her from the ballroom to the library, locking the door behind them. At once they embraced, their lips fusing, their clothing dissolving into puddles of cloth on the carpet. Then they were on the carpet, too, Reginald making love to every inch of her flesh with consummate skill. His magic tongue on her womanhood brought forth countless climaxes. The piston-like thrusting of his hips coaxed out dozens more. “Aaaaaaaah,” she sighed. “Arrrrgghh,” he groaned. It was sex beyond their wildest dreams—and to think they hadn’t yet been introduced, hadn’t yet spoken a single word to each other.


Next, the analysis: This scene sucks for all kinds of reasons. First good erotica needs tension and surprise—none here! The characters need a reason to be together—don’t see that either, right? I define good erotica as that in which the sex is physically and emotionally believable. Maybe guys have great sex with total strangers, but I’ve not yet met a woman who’s had her top experiences under such circumstances. Finally, avoid clichés or use them wisely or ironically. And I was definitely using them ironically here. You won’t find anything like this in Amorous Woman!


DC: Requisite question: Who would play the lead character, Lydia, in a steamy HBO mini-series based on Amorous Woman?


I think Amorous Woman would make an excellent HBO mini-series, rather like “Sex and the City” Japanese-style. Charlotte goes to Kyoto and turns into Samantha, with plenty of witty Carrie observations on international relations thrown in! I like Lauren Ambrose for Lydia. She has the right look, an erotic dynamo all wrapped up in strawberry blonde innocence. Ken Watanabe would make the perfect Kimura—flawless English, exquisite charm, sexy as they come.



Donna George Storey has taught English in Japan and Japanese at Stanford and U.C. Berkeley. She holds a Ph.D. in Japanese literature and has published over seventy literary and/or erotic stories and essays in Gettysburg Review, Fourth Genre, Best American Erotica 2006, Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, Best Women’s Erotica and elsewhere. A story published in Prairie Schooner received special mention in Pushcart Prize Stories 2004. Her first novel, Amorous Woman (Orion, 2007) is the story of an American woman’s (very steamy) love affair with Japan inspired by Ihara Saikaku’s classic 17th century novel of the pleasure quarters. She is also the author of Child of Darkness: Yoko and Other Stories by Furui Yoshikichi (University of Michigan Center for Japanese Studies, 1997), a translation from the Japanese with critical commentaries. She currently writes a column, Cooking up a Storey, about her favorite topics—delicious sex, well-crafted food, and mind-blowing writing—for the Erotica Readers and Writers Association.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Half of a Yellow Sun, Five Star Literary Stories


A couple of weeks ago, I told you about an exciting new blog that highlights short stories that are "editor-nominated and considered one of the best the mag has published."

I hope you check out their latest review. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "Half of a Yellow Sun" is reviewed by Susan Lago, and was nominated by Beverly Jackson, editor and publisher of Ink Pot. This story went on to win an O. Henry Prize in 2003, so please check it out!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A sexy, erotic, literary read



The cover of the erotic novel Amorous Woman by Donna George Storey has a seductive-looking Japanese woman tempting you to come hither and read the story that is clearly for "adults only" (as the cover warns). The prologue has the title character, Lydia, looking at her reflection in an airport mirror and swearing off sex in any form as she departs Japan for the United States, her homeland. Lydia isn't Japanese—she's a blonde American—but the reflection she sees (or imagines she sees) could very well be the Japanese woman from the book's cover. Lydia is in love with Japan, and her move there was an attempt not just to become Japanese, but to become part of Japan itself. Yet she'll always be a gaijin, a foreigner.

Lydia had moved to Japan to teach English, and to immerse herself in the Japanese culture. What follows is her sexual awakening, one that is driven by a fantasy life that barely stays one step ahead of Lydia's sexual reality. In fact, one feeds off the other. And don't forget, this is an erotic novel, and nothing is left to the reader's imagination. Yet, Amorous Woman is so much more than just the sex. Lydia's sexuality awakens, true, but so does her yearnings for romance, her lost father, and for just plain more out of life. This leads to a self-destructive lifestyle, as far as relationships go, that escalates to a point of no return.

The book begins with Lydia back in the States, telling her story to two young men who are her students (now she's teaching Japanese to Americans set to work in Japan). We get to hear the story along with them, and learn what happened to drive her out of the adopted country she loves. And what a story! Author Donna George Storey holds a Ph.D. in Japanese literature from Stanford, and like her character Lydia, spent time in Japan teaching English. She knows the territory. Storey's writing is very descriptive, and brings you right into Lydia's fantasy world of Japan. From the traditional marriages, to the fine restaurants (serving exotic, dangerous dishes like fugu), to the "love hotels" where married people go to cheat on their spouses and live out their wildest fetishes, to the hot springs resorts in the mountains north of Tokyo:

The bathhouse was deserted, the water smooth and glassy. Hot spring baths in Japan usually follow a guiding fantasy, transporting the bather to a rocky grotto, a tropical garden or terrace with the perfect view of Mount Fuji, even if the mountain itself is an image set in mosaic tile. This inn was more ambitious than most. The soaring cross-beamed ceiling, glowing pedestal lanterns, and swimming pool-sized cedar tub brought to mind the cathedral of a cult that worshipped both purity and indulgence. I was more than eager to make my own offering on its altar.

Lydia affairs aren't only with the men of Japan, but with Japan itself. And we get to go along for the ride. But what eventually makes the love affair end, what drives her back into the arms of America? What happened in Japan to have her swear off sex forever? The answer to those questions is why this book is a page turner—and not just because of the hot, steamy sex scenes.

But does the Amorous Woman really change her ways when she gets back to the States, and live a chaste life? Or will the old pull of sex draw her back into a self-destructive lifestyle? Will she ever find love again? Will the two young businessmen she is telling the story to revive her amorous ways by the end of the tale?

Maybe this isn't the last we've heard from the Amorous Woman. It's definitely not the last we've heard from Donna George Storey.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

It's official: American Cool is a great book!


Susan DiPlacido's hot collection of short stories, American Cool, was the runner-up in the 2008 Beach Book Festival, romance category! Congrats to Susan! The book is also a semi-finalist in the 2008 Independent Publisher Book Awards (better known as the IPPYS), erotica category. The winners will be announced May 23. Good luck!

To purchase American Cool:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble

UPDATE 5/23: The IPPY awards were announced today. Susan DiPlacido walked away with a bronze medal! Congrats Susan!

37. Erotica
Gold: Erotic Interludes 5: Road Games, edited by Radclyffe and Stacia Seaman (Bold Strokes Books)
Silver: Sex Libris: A Book About What Everyone Thinks They Know, edited by Christopher Meason (Welcome Books)
Bronze: American Cool, by Susan DiPlacido (Rebel Press/iUniverse); Slave to Love, by Nikita Black (Cajun Hot Press)

IPPYS

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Five Star Literary Stories


If you are a lover of short stories, check out this new site, Five Star Literary Stories. Their statement:

Five Star Literary Stories combines three integral facets of the writing life: publisher, story, and reviewer. Each story is editor-nominated and considered one of the best the mag has published.

So, if you're short on time, and can't comb through the many outstanding online journals out there, if you want to just sit down with your morning cup of joe and read a great story, look no further! Five Star Literary Stories is now online!

I am thrilled to be one of their first participants. Check out my review of "I've Got Dreams to Remember" by Andrew Bomback.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Funnymen by Ted Heller


It's been a few years since I first read Funnymen by Ted Heller (it was published in 2002). I read so many books, and my memory is shot anyway, so it was time to give it another go (Heller is also the author of one of my all-time favorite comic novels, Slab Rat.)

The "funnymen" of the novel are the fictional comedy duo of Fountain & Bliss, loosely based on the legendary team of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. The narrative is unique, set up documentary style, as if Heller himself had interviewed all the major and minor characters of the Fountain & Bliss world. All of these characters (and boy are they characters!) tell of the meeting, union, and rise of the loony comedian (Bliss) and the girl-chasing crooner (Fountain), from the Catskills in the 1940s, to Hollywood of the 1960s, and beyond—past their eventual breakup, and into old age. Each character tells his/her version of events in a unique, identifiable voice, which I know (as a writer) is a hard trick to pull off.

The storytelling in Funnymen is engaging, spot-on, satisfying, exhausting, and more importantly—funny. When the laughs come (and there are plenty of them), it's because you as the reader know the characters so intimately, that you get the joke on every level, as if you are laughing at a long-time friend or family member.

So that's two great novels now from Mr. Heller, but the question is: When is the next one? It's been six long years since Funnymen was published. Ted, if you're out there, help me out. I need some more Heller. I'll be a first reader for you if you need one. Call me.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Ron Currie, Jr. Wins Young Lions Award!!


Ron Currie Jr. won the 2008 New York Public Library Young Lions Fiction Award for his debut novel God Is Dead last night! Hosted by Young Lions co-founder Ethan Hawke, the ceremony included readings of the nominated work by actors Amanda Peet, Brian O'Byrne, and Michael Shannon, as well as Hawke.

Big congratulations, Ron!

The other nominees were Ellen Litman (The Last Chicken in America); Peter Nathaniel Malae (Teach the Free Man); Dinaw Mengestu (The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears); and Emily Mitchell (The Last Summer of the World).

Thursday, April 24, 2008

American Idol is now officially just a popularity contest

American Idol is dead to me now. I seriously don't think I'll watch the remaining weeks. What a joke. Jason Castro and Brooke White are still there? Jason is horrible, and he doesn't even give a shit anymore. Brooke was cute and sincere and vulnerable in the beginning; now she is just annoying and frankly not improving week-to-week as champions usually do. Yet Carly Smithson—who I think should have won this competition—gets eliminated, and on her best week to boot. Disgraceful.

AI has always been somewhat of a popularity contest, but that is all it is now. Basically what happened last night was David Archuleta won the competition. There is no more suspense. It's over. No need to watch from here on out. All the dedicated AI fans (like me) are now denied the final Top Two face-off that should have been: Carly vs. David A.

What a joke.

Here is Carly's exit interview

Monday, April 14, 2008

Ron Currie, Jr. Nominated For Young Lions Award


My friend Ron Currie, Jr. is a finalist for the 2008 The New York Public Library Young Lions Fiction Award. His fantastic debut novel God Is Dead, soon to be released in paperback by Penguin, has been nominated. This is an award to honor the work of American writers under the age of 35. The award (which includes a $10,000 prize) will be presented by Young Lions co-founder Ethan Hawke on April 28th.

Past winners include Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated; and Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves. This year's nominees are: Ron Currie, Jr. (God Is Dead); Ellen Litman (The Last Chicken in America); Peter Nathaniel Malae (Teach the Free Man); Dinaw Mengestu (The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears); and Emily Mitchell (The Last Summer of the World).

Good luck, Ron! I'll be at the ceremony, and I'll post pictures and the results the next day.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Pete Best finally gets his revenge?



Some hoodlum, some terrorist, some down-right evil-doer has beheaded Ringo Starr! Not the real Ringo, but his topiary counterpart. Italian artist, Franco Covill created the life-size Beatles topiary to honor Liverpool's favorite sons, and to celebrate Liverpool's European Capital of Culture status.

But after Ringo made a comment on a BBC interview that he missed "nothing" about the city, he became a target of these evil-doers. Last time someone just squashed his poor little Ringo head; this time the vandals cut it off completely, and absconded with the leafy noggin.

The head is still missing.

Monday, April 07, 2008

"Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!"


One of the classic film lines of all time, from one of my favorite movies, uttered with total disdain by Charlton Heston. (There are many other great quotes here from 1968's "Planet of the Apes.") Heston died Saturday night at the age of 84.

I loved "Apes" as a kid. It was just so cool, so scary, so shocking at the end, when astronaut George Taylor (Heston) finds out he is still on Earth. Everything about "Apes" is great, including the eerie music throughout. I can just hear it now, as Heston's horse approaches the remains of the Statue of Liberty on the beach, and the viewer finds out at the same time the character does that this is Earth, and humans blew their chance at ruling it.

Heston starred in many other classics, including "The 10 Commandments" and "Ben-Hur" (for which he won a Best Actor Oscar®). Then he became the spokesman for gun rights as the president of the NRA. Another famous quote of his was that they'd have to pry the gun "from my cold, dead hands." (I wonder if this came to pass.) But for me, he'll always be George Taylor, the rebellious human fighting the man (er, ape) in "Planet of the Apes." So long, Charlton.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Plastic Soul


If you're a John Lennon fan, you might want to check out this collectible item. An 18" John Lennon action figure—with sound! He actually speaks two phrases: "Power to the people" and "All we are saying is give peace a chance." For ten bucks more you can add on an attachable Yoko Ono figure, also with (screeching) sound. (Just kidding.)
John Lennon 18" Action Figure with Sound

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Into the Sunset reviewed


Mary Akers, co-author of Radical Gratitude, has reviewed my novel, Into the Sunset.

"Into the Sunset is a lively, engaging, romp-of-a-read."

Read the full review here:
Mary Akers

Into the Sunset can be purchased at:
Amazon

American Cool reviewed


Susan DiPlacido's great collection of stories, American Cool, is reviewed in the April edition of The Short Review. And don't miss the lively interview they did with Susan.

Buy American Cool

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Amazon's Thuggery


It seems Amazon is blatantly trying to take over and control the POD (Print-on-Demand) industry. They are demanding that publishers use their BookSurge subsidiary, instead of other companies, like Lightning Source. If the publishers don't use BookSurge, Amazon will disable their books' buy buttons.

This is also an attempt to get authors considering the self-publishing route to use Amazon's CreateSpace service, instead of other publishers like iUniverse and lulu.com. Read more about it in this Publisher's Weekly article, which also includes a link to Angela Hoy's (co-owner of BookLocker.com) inside info on the matter.

There is also a petition against Amazon's actions, here.

I guess iUniverse hasn't been cut off yet, because my novel is still available. Though I do wonder what will happen when the "1 left in stock" is sold. Will Amazon reorder after they deplete their stock of these type of books?
Into the Sunset

UPDATE
Amazon responds

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Return of Jezebel James


So, I was sucked into watching an episode of this new sit-com starring Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose. Posey plays Sarah, an editor for HarperCollins' children's division. She has everything in life—a million dollar loft in Brooklyn, a successful career, good looks, and a good relationship with her boyfriend—everything except a baby. Since she can't have children of her own, she persuades her flaky younger sister Coco (Ambrose) to carry a child for her. Laughs are now supposed to ensue.

I wanted to like this show for three reasons:
• I, too, work in children's publishing, though not for HarperCollins. There is a lot of humor that can be mined in book publishing.
• I like Lauren Ambrose, who was great as the sister on Six Feet Under.
• Parker Posey

Now, granted, I missed the pilot episode. But I did catch the second episode. I'm still waiting to laugh. Seems they had everything in place for this situation-comedy. Everything but the comedy part. There was one long scene where the free-spirited Coco is alone in Sarah's mansion (which by the way is a joke. Doesn't Jezebel's writers know the sorry state book publishing is in these days?) and can't figure out how to use the TV and stereo remote controls. The hispanic maid who doesn't speak English had to show her. It went on too long, wasn't believable (what 25 year-old doesn't know how to use a remote?), wasn't funny, and is an old joke anyway. Ha ha! She can't use a remote! Someone get me the oxygen!

Ron McLarty plays their father, but in this episode he was only in it for a minute. According to the show's official website, his character is "a man who takes other people's crap, fixes it, and then dumps it at his daughter's house." Last night's show had him dropping off an ancient humidifier that he told Sarah not to stand too close to, and not to put near a window. I guess that was supposed to be funny. The interesting thing about McLarty is he actually does know something about publishing. He wrote a great novel called The Memory of Running. He should run away from this show as fast as possible.

Now, I know there is a chance the show may improve. Look at Brad Garrett's Til Death (which Jezebel follows). It was horrible when it started, unwatchable even. But they revamped it and now it is actually pretty decent. Not in a I-have-to-Tivo-it-if-I'm-not-home sort of way. But in a if-I'm-home-and-my-TV-is-on-anyway-I'll watch it sort of way. But Garrett's talent and long history on Everybody Loves Raymond saved that show. Jezebel doesn't have that going for it.

So, in conclusion, maybe the writing on Jezebel will improve over time, so the two good lead actresses have something to work with. And maybe new writers with some edge will come on board who could actually skewer the publishing industry. Unfortunately, shows aren't given time to develop like that anymore. And it all comes down to good writing. And this show doesn't have it right now.

Update: Just saw this online:
Fox has pulled the low-rated Parkey Posey sitcom "The Return of Jezebel James" from its schedule after just three airings.

The show pulled in just 3.2 million viewers when it debuted March 14 with back-to-back episodes, the network's worst performance in the 8 p.m. hour since fall's "The Next Great American Band."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

American Idol recap

Hey, I guest blogged on Susan DiPlacido's blog. I pinch hit for her weekly American Idol recap. Check it out: Neon Fiction

Monday, March 17, 2008

Radical Gratitude



Radical Gratitude
And Other Life Lessons Learned in Siberia
by Andrew Bienkowski and Mary Akers
published by Allen & Unwin, ISBN 9781741754223

Part inspirational self-help book and part memoir, Radical Gratitude is an involving, quick read. Mr. Bienkowski, a therapist for more than 40 years, recounts the time his family spent exiled in Siberia during WWII, and how the life lessons he learned as a small child still influence him to this day. The goal of this book is to pass those lessons along to the readers. Lessons of gratitude, hope, perseverance, faith and love.

The inspirational part of Radical Gratitude is written in first person, and allows Mr. Bienkowski to break down each "lesson" (as he calls the chapters), and draw from his past to show his inspiration for different treatment philosophies. This is all good stuff, and he gives practical, useful advice in not only helping others, but also in helping ourselves. Helping ourselves live a better, stress-less life, keep a positive outlook, and have hope for a better future, as well as how to appreciate the present, and be grateful for things most people take for granted on a daily basis. Things like simple kindnesses, food, and shelter. And you know, as the reader, that he speaks from experience, that when he was a child in Siberia he didn't know where the next meal would come from.

His concept of "radical gratitude" is the "idea that we can learn to feel grateful, even for the terrible things that happen to us in our lives." In fact, they will make you a stronger person. His horrifying experiences as a child have given him a better understanding of life, for which he is grateful.

I found the memoir part of the book, which alternated between third and first person narration, truly fascinating. Bienkowski's family, which consisted of his grandmother and grandfather, mother, younger brother, and himself were forced from their home and relocated to Siberia by Stalin after communist Russia invaded Poland (his father was in the Polish army fighting on another front). Stripped of their belongings and money, they were forced to live in a hut with virtually nothing. To make it through the first long, hard winter, Bienkowski's grandfather starved himself to death so the rest of the family could survive on the meager supply of food that was left. I detect co-author Mary Aker's skillful hand here, in bringing to life the story of this close-knit, loving family surviving against all odds in an unforgiving environment (both physical and political). I found myself right there with the family, feeling what they felt, seeing what they saw, and hearing what they heard:

The long winters had taught Andrew that the presence of wolves was a cause for fear. And yet something had been shifting in his mind when he thought of wolves. Summer, the villagers taught him, was not a time to fear wolves. In the summertime, wolves are well fed and happy. They are raising families far from the village and humans do not interest wolves.

So instead, Andy listened to the wolves as if they were singing a song. Each wolf had his part and each took up before the other left off, so that a continuous chorus of wolf voices surrounded him out there on the plain. As far as he knew, everyone else in camp was asleep, and the wolves sang for him alone.


The grandmother and mother were courageous and tenacious women, choosing not only to live and protect the two young children, but to not compromise their principles along the way. The grandfather, of course, made the ultimate sacrifice for his family. The thing I loved most about this part of Radical Gratitude was that I didn't know the outcome. Obviously Andrew survived to tell the tale, but who else lived and whether or not the family made it out of Siberia to reunite with Andrew's father was a mystery. This was very cinematic to me, and the clear, straightforward storytelling kept me turning the pages.

The Bienkowski family's story is truly inspiring. For this I am grateful that Mr. Bienkowski and Mary Akers decided to share it with the world.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Me, interviewed

Donna George Storey, author of the erotic novel Amorous Woman, has interviewed me for her blog. Read the interview here.

Read her review of my novel here:
Into the Sunset

Into the Sunset is available at Amazon.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Declare Independence!


Seems Bjork has pissed off a few people in China. During a recent concert in Shanghai, she ended her concert-closing song "Declare Independence" by shouting "Tibet! Tibet!" China has ruled Tibet since 1951, and it's a touchy subject there, with talk of independence taboo.

Come back to America, Bjork! We need some independence here, too.

Monday, March 03, 2008

The Rise of the New "House that Ruth Built"


In 2009, the New York Yankees will move into their new home, right across the street from their current Stadium. I'm really excited about it, and have seen the construction from the Major Deegan Parkway as I've zoomed past. The new Stadium will have more of a retro look, very similar to the original Stadium with the coliseum-like look of the outside, and the famous white facade once again circling the entire inside of the park, and not just the back of the outfield like the current Stadium has, which was remodeled in the mid-70s.

I've been following the progress on a great Yankees blog called Sliding Into Home, who have a whole separate page dedicated to the construction, complete with frequent updated photos. They have some great shots, from all different angles. I'm not sure how they're getting all these amazing images, but check them out for yourself:
Sliding Into Home

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Snobbery?

One of the worst obstacles self-published authors face is snobbery. I've encountered this in the promotion of my novel, INTO THE SUNSET, as well as my short story collection, STORIES FROM SUNSET HILL. The stigma of self-publishing is that the work must suck, otherwise why did it have to be self-published?

Well, one reason I self-pubbed my collection is because the short story collection may very well be the hardest thing to sell to the traditional houses (well, maybe poets have it worse). So I didn't even attempt to sell the collection; I just figured I'd publish it myself. Of the 17 stories included in my book, 7 had been published elsewhere, in lit mags and e-zines.

I am proud of STORIES FROM SUNSET HILL. It showcases some of my best work. In fact, a Writer's Digest contest judge had this to say about the book:

"The author writes with a creative and lively style. The gritty, raw voice of the character Chuck in the first story pulled me in right away, and I couldn't stop reading.

"The author has an uncanny ability to create insightful characters, who are wiser to the world and its ways than they are to themselves. This is a winsome combination, a likeable quality, that pulls the reader into the fictive dream."


Unfortunately, I've most recently encountered this stereotype from Tania Hershman, the editor of The Short Review. Her web site is dedicated to the short story, with the tagline "where short story collections step into the spotlight." It's a great idea to spotlight short story collections, especially nowadays when more and more people have less and less time to read novels. So I was excited when Tania said she'd review my collection. I hoped she would like it, and a good review would have really helped give my work much-needed exposure.

It was not to be. I guess she didn't realize the book was self-published when she agreed to review it. Someone must have tipped her off, and she pulled out of the review. I wish her well with the web site, but all I ask is that my work speak for itself, and not be pre-judged. Read it, then judge it.

I realize it's still hard to get a self-pubbed book reviewed because, frankly, reviewers don't want to wade through the crap to find the jewels (which is still the prevailing stereotype for self-pubbed books). But a lot of it isn't crap. I'm trying to fight this stereotype in my own small way, but there are some days when I feel it is a losing battle. But there is hope that the climate will change, with contests like the Writer's Digest International Self-Published Book Awards and the Indie Book Awards bringing attention to the best of self-publishing.



Stories From Sunset Hill
Purchase

Read a review of Stories From Sunset Hill

Monday, February 11, 2008

This Is a Bust!



I stumbled across This Is a Bust, by Ed Lin, in my local library by accident—because the cool, funky cover art (pictured above) grabbed my attention. The interior of the book also had a somewhat funky design. There are no first line paragraph indents; instead, everything is flush left with an extra return between each paragraph. This was all very appealing to me as a book designer (yes, I do judge a book by its cover). OK, enough on the design.

The novel also appealed to me as a writer. The back cover text states "This Is a Bust explores the unexotic and very real complexities of New York City's Chinatown, circa 1976, through the eyes of a Chinese American cop. This Is a Bust is at once a murder mystery, a noir homage and a devastating, uniquely nuanced portrait of a neighborhood in flux, stuck between old rivalries and youthful idealism."

This is a good description, but it was the character of Robert Chow, the cop, who intrigued me more than the solution to the murder mystery itself. In fact, the mystery really isn't the focus of this book. The characterization of Chinatown as a whole, its culture (which was unknown to me), and all the individual characters who populate Lin's novel are the real story. There is Chow's former partner Vandyne, an African-American, who is on the fast track to making detective; the Midget, who hangs out in Columbus park and beats all opponents in every board game imaginable; Paul, a young, brilliant tough; Lonnie, a college student and bakery worker who has eyes for Chow; Barbara, an old love interest of Chow's who made it out of Chinatown, only to return; and Yip, an elderly man who may or may not have killed his wife.

All of this is set against the background of a 1976 Chinatown, an era before the internet, before cell phones, and before the U.S. opened up relations with communist China (but is putting out feelers). Policeman Chow wonders at one point why he fought against communism in Vietnam. Though only 25, he feels old, having seen both the big world (Vietnam), and the small world (Chinatown), and how it can wear a man down. He's lost, and alcoholic, and knows he is just a token in the police department, and will never be given the investigations he desires to become a detective.

Chow is drawn to the murder mystery, though, because he understands the Chinatown culture, more so than his friend Vandyne, who is leading the investigation. He wants to prove to himself and his boss that he is more than just a patrolman walking a beat, more than just a token face for photo ops. He's warned off the case by his boss, but it nags at him, and clues occasionally fall into his lap whether he wants them to or not. As Chow puts the pieces of the mystery together, he also sorts out his own personal life.

This Is a Bust is anything but a bust. It's first-rate. Check it out.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Andrew Jenks, Room 335



So yesterday, my boss told me about a documentary film that was made called Andrew Jenks, Room 335. It's about a 19-year-old film student who moves into an assisted-living retirement home for a month, and documents the whole experience. I had never heard of the film before.

Uh oh, I thought. That sounds very similar to the plot of my novel, Into the Sunset. In my book, a 30-year-old bachelor moves into an assisted living community—except he is disguised as an old gent. But my book is fictional and a comedy, so the book and the film are different. Still, I had that little queasy feeling in my gut that someone else had already come up with a similar idea and gotten it out to the world before I did. Thankfully, though, my novel has already been published, and is receiving good reviews, so I don't feel as if I had been scooped.

Back to the film. Turns out there was a free screening of the film tonight, and my friend Joe and I went to check it out. The director, film student Andrew Jenks (who coincidentally is also from Westchester County like me), spent a month living in Harbor Place, a senior residence in Florida. He brought along two buddies who helped film the whole experience.

Jenks is a smart filmmaker. The story isn't about him living in Harbor Place, it's about the elderly residents who do. He lets them take center stage, as we get to meet these wonderful people. People like fiesty 96 year-old Tammy, and Bill, who wears a different Hawaiian shirt every day. And Dotty, and Libby, and Josie.

Andrews Jenks, Room 335 has been called funny, sad, and heartwarming, and I totally agree with this description. Do yourself a favor and see this film.

And by the way—now that I've seen the film, I don't have that queasy feeling anymore. The film and my novel are similar in plot, and even in theme—of how the elderly are viewed in our society—but the two pieces of art handle the story differently (plus mine is fiction), and there is room for both. Seeing the documentary also made me feel good about my own work, in that—though I never lived in a senior community—I feel that I got much of it right. I don't mean just the details, but the human element. The funny parts and the sad parts, too.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

U2 3D!


No, I don't normally wear glasses like in the photo above. I had them on because I went to see U23D last night. This is a concert film like you've never seen before! Shot during U2's Vertigo tour in an outdoor show of a scale the U.S. didn't see, it is the next best thing to being at a real U2 show. Better, in some ways. Or should I say, Even Better Than The Real Thing? Because you're not just stuck in your seat, static. No, you move around the crowd—up close, far away, in the middle. Then you're on the stage with the boys, you're behind Larry Mullen's drumkit, you're above the drumkit, you're standing next to Bono, the Edge and Adam Clayton. Seriously. You feel like you can reach out and touch them. When a song ended, I had to remind myself not to cheer, that I wasn't at a real concert. Though the hands that were being raised seemingly right in front of me kept fooling me into believing that I was. And the music, of course, was great.

My question is, Why isn't every movie made in 3D? This new technology is amazing. I don't want to watch flat, boring 2D movies anymore. Can you imagine the next Scorsese film in 3D? Being right there with the characters? Bring it on Hollywood!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Into the Sunset, reviewed


Donna George Storey, author of Amorous Woman, has reviewed my novel, Into the Sunset.

"Don Capone’s Into the Sunset is entertaining comedy at its best. Even the madcap premise makes you laugh."

"Reading as a writer—and I always do—I admired Capone’s plot, which is Chekhovian in its design. Each puzzle piece fits together perfectly by the novel’s end."


Read the full review here:
Donna George Storey

Into the Sunset can be purchased at:
Amazon

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Friends of Tuesday Shorts at the Boxcar Lounge


EDIT:
Thanks to all who came!


Reading from my novel Into the Sunset

You are invited to a festive, funfabulous evening with Friends of Tuesday Shorts, the reading series. Wednesday, January 30, 2008, 8PM. Tuesday Shorts is also celebrating our upcoming spread - featuring some of the best new and established talent presented in TS last year - that will appear in Opium.print #6 this spring!

Scheduled readers:

Mike Young co-edits NOÖ Journal. His work has or will appear in Backwards City Review, Night Train, Hobart, Juked, elimae, 3:AM and elsewhere. A chapbook of poetry called MC Oroville's Answering Machine is forthcoming from Transmission Press.

Donald Capone's short stories have appeared in Edgar Literary Magazine, Word Riot, Thieves Jargon, and Skive Magazine, as well as the anthologies See You Next Tuesday, and Rebellion: New Voices of Fiction, which he also edited, and which was a finalist in the 2006 USA Book News awards. His first novel, Into the Sunset, is on sale now. To pay the rent and eat, he designs children's novelty books for a major publisher.

Shelly Rae Rich likes to make things up and mix them with truth. Some of her fiction is found or forthcoming in Apalachee Review, Opium Magazine, The Binnacle, Duck and Herring Pocket Field Guide, Right Hand Pointing, elimae, Ghoti, Juked, Ducts, Eyeshot – and her work has been translated in two languages. She is co-editor of Tuesday Shorts. More can be found at her blog: Shelly Rae Rich

Bob Heman's work has appeared in Quick Fiction, Paragraph, Sentence, First Intensity and many others. His ephemeral magazine CLWN WR is currently publishing a series of "50 words or less" (and "20 words or less") issues.

Boxcar Lounge
(212) 473-2830
168 Ave. B
New York, NY 10009
(between 10th St. and 11th St)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Would You Stand Up and Walk Out On Me?


Ringo takes a bite of the Big Apple

Ringo Starr was scheduled to appear on the “Live With Regis and Kelly” show on Tuesday morning in New York. Rings is out promoting his new CD "Liverpool 8," and planned to perform the title cut. Trouble was, the song is 4 minutes and 15 seconds long, and the producer of Regis (Michael Gelman) wanted Ringo to cut it to 2 1/2 minutes or less. Ringo offered to shorten it to 3 minutes and 30 seconds, but apparently, that wasn't enough. When a compromise coudn't be reached, Ringo walked.

One question for all involved with the Regis show: Are you crazy? Or just a bunch of morons? Do you realize you had a real life Beatle in the house, one of only two left in existence (unless you count Pete Best)? OK, so that was three questions. Still. Here's another one: Uh, was there a better guest waiting in the wings? Let the man play his damn four-minute song!

Fashion designer Michael Kors and the winners of CBS’ “The Amazing Race” filled in the time. Bet it was riveting television.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Clapton—The Autobiography



Eric Clapton, guitar god, has written his autobiography, aptly titled Clapton, The Autobiography. It covers his entire life, from his poor upbringing, to the present day as happy family man. He addresses every phase of his personal and professional life, which is amazing in the fact that the book clocks in at only 328 pages. Maybe this is why, as honest as Clapton is, it left me wanting a bit more. For instance, during his drunk periods he admits to being "chauvinistic" to his then-wife Patti, and starting fights with various people, but he never actually gives the details. (Maybe I have to read Patti Boyd's autobiography if I want more.)

The overall read this memoir gives on Clapton's personality is one of obsession. From his love of the blues, to his infatuations with many women, to his desire to work with different musicians, to his abuse of drugs and alcohol. Everything is done full bore, damn the consequences. It took age and years of recovery for Clapton to mature enough to start a family with his current wife, Melia, and settle into a less destructive lifestyle.

I give Clapton credit for being so forthcoming in his text, and admitting to faults and mistakes that most people would choose to keep hidden. Possibly being such a public figure for so long didn't really give him an option here; other people have and will write books, and some of the stories are already legend. But, still, I was almost embarrassed reading some of his adventures. Especially one in particular, that involved a strange woman who preyed on his vulnerability by claiming she could help him win back Patti with different spells. The situation gets way out of hand.

Maybe it was just a case of fighting a tight deadline, but I feel this book could have benefited with a stronger editor to guide the text. The writing was good (Clapton wrote it himself), but someone really needed to just step in a few places and ask for more here, and here, and here. John Lennon's murder wasn't even mentioned. Surely this must have affected Clapton in some way, even if it was just to concern himself with his own safety. Not to mention Clapton's friendship with George Harrison. Didn't he discuss this with Harrison, or call and console him about the death of his Beatle brother?

Despite my few problems with the book, I really found it to be a quick read and a real page turner. It allowed me, the reader, to get an intimate glimpse into the life and mind of one of the most successful artists of the last 40 years. And the glimpse isn't always a pretty picture.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Second Annual Per Contra Prize

Per Contra, the International Journal of the Arts, Literature and Ideas, is still accepting submissions for their 2nd Annual Per Contra Prize. First prize is $1,000! Deadline is January 31st, so get with it! Read their guidelines here.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Into the Sunset reviewed by Romantic Times!

Romantic Times magazine reviewed my novel Into the Sunset in their February 2008 issue, which just hit the newsstands. Without further ado, here is the review (I'll comment after):



Romantic Times is geared toward the romance and erotic genres. So I'm thrilled that my book—which is neither, really—got three stars. Yeah, the book has a lot of sex. And there may be a relationship or two, but it's a comedy. There are a lot of silly sex scenes.

The "younger man and much older woman plotline may make some readers uncomfortable" comment is funny for a few reasons:
1) If readers of erotica are uncomfortable with this plot line, maybe they shouldn't be reading erotica.
2) An agent who requested the full manuscript when I was shopping it around commented that the book had "disturbing sex." Guess people can't handle a May-December romance if the December is a woman. Which leads to...
3) Why is it acceptable for an old gent to date a younger woman? Rod Stewart with a hot, young blonde? That's fine. My 30 year-old character with a 60 year-old woman? Disturbing!



Anyway, thanks to Susan DiPlacido for sending them a copy of my book. Her collection of stories, American Cool, received 4 1/2 stars from them!

Into the Sunset can be purchased at:
Amazon

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The Short Review

If you are a lover of short stories, you should check out The Short Review, a website that reviews short story collections. Issue number 3 just went live. Both new releases and classic collections are reviewed.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

More like 700 Splendid Suns



I found A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini disappointing, especially in comparison to The Kite Runner. I wonder if I would have liked this book more if I hadn't already read The Kite Runner. The Afghanistan culture and politics were interesting to me. Maybe it was just a case of been there, done that.

The story centers around two female characters, Mariam and Laila, and follows their lives over the course of 30 years. From the Soviet invasion, to the Taliban, and finally to the US invasion, these women struggle to survive, and yearn for happiness that is always just out of their reach. They learn to endure.

I liked the characters, and they were well drawn, especially the bad guys. But the second half of this book devolved into a soap opera, and it was almost comical to see what horrible tragedy would befall them next. (I don't want to give specifics here and ruin the plot if you haven't read the book yet. But if you have, you know what I mean.)

The storytelling was too heavy-handed, and after a while I got the point: War is bad. Bad things happen to good people.

As with the The Kite Runner, the story just dragged on and on. Just when you thought it was over, there was yet another ending. Kind of like a cheesy horror movie, where the axe-wielding maniac is struck dead, and you the think the film is over. Then he pops back up to kill some more.

The final 20 pages were work to finish. I just wanted it to end. Thankfully, it did.

3 1/2 stars

Sunday, December 30, 2007

American Cool—4 1/2 Stars!


American Cool is Susan DiPlacido's hot collection of short stories. So hot, in fact, that Romantic Times gave it 4 1/2 Stars in its latest edition, on newsstands now. Congratulations Susan!

Realistic jargon paints the settings, and the use of unusual points of view is refreshing. A bit like a literary Pulp Fiction, this book offers a glimpse into the exciting, sometimes dangerous lives of people living on the edge.
—Reviewed by Jennifer R. Wells-Marani, Romantic Times

Be Cool too:
Amazon
iUniverse

Don't forget to read an interview with Susan here.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Tuesday Shorts, and a Free Story!

Hey, I want to tell you about a cool weekly literary blogazine called Tuesday Shorts. Their challenge is to write a short story of 100 words or less. They have a short submission window, so read their guidelines carefully. These very short stories that are accepted run on the following Tuesday, hence the name Tuesday Shorts. So take a crack at it, and show them your shorts.

Here was my (rejected) attempt:

A Bad Day
by Donald Capone
99 words

The day started out just like any other—except for the fact that Tim's penis fell off.

He had gotten out of bed, as usual, swinging one leg then the other from under the covers, his feet sliding into his waiting slippers. Then the walk through the kitchen, where he stopped to get the coffee pot going, before continuing on to the bathroom for his long morning pee. This was always a time of contemplation—the bubbling stream of water issuing forth from his bladder relaxing him both physically and mentally.

But then, a Plop! His day was ruined.

-------------------

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Mitchell Report

Former Senator Mitchell issued his report on illegal steroid use to baseball commissioner Bud Selig yesterday. He spent 20 months and supposedly $20 million conducting the investigation. (I could have given MLB a very similar list for free, and about 19 months and 29 days earlier, but I don't have the street cred Mitchell does, who helped broker peace in Northern Ireland.)

Roger Clemens was the one who took the hardest hit. Clemens probably juiced by the looks of him, but the "evidence" in the Mitchell report is pretty lame. Here is a good article by Boston writer Dan Shaughnessy on the subject of Clemens, the lack of hard evidence, and how the greatest pitcher of his generation got thrown under a bus by MLB solely on hearsay:
Dan Shaughnessy


Selig (or the Nutty Professor, as I call him) said this report was "a call to action," and that "I will act." He also said, "Discipline of players and others identified in the report will be determined on a case-by-case basis."

Hmmm.

I wonder, what kind of discipline? None of these players tested positive for the biggie of steroids, HGH (human growth hormone). That's because there IS no test yet for HGH. Besides the fact that when these players allegedly used steroids, there was no drug policy in MLB. Can you get fined for breaking a rule that didn't exist yet?

Even if fines/suspensions/wrist slaps/wedgies/purple nurples are doled out by Selig as punishment, how do you determine it so far after the fact? Take someone like Andy Pettitte. He allegedly used HGH to heal an injured elbow. Should he be punished the same as someone like a Bonds, who juiced every week for seven years just to hit more dingers and break the hallowed all-time HR record held by the classy Hank Aaron? Do you erase the phony homerun records of Bonds, Sosa, and McGwire from the record books? And what about the Hall of Fame voting (McGwire was already shut out in his first year of eligibilty)?

Or do you just go forward with a clean slate?

Edit 12/23: OK, Pettitte owned up to using HGH twice. So have a few others, like Brian Roberts of the Orioles. Now let's hear from the record setters. Bonds, Sosa, McGwire? We're waiting.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Imagine Peace; Sean Lennon's Friendly Fire


Today is the 27th anniversary of John Lennon's death. Check out the Imagine Peace website for a message from Yoko, and video clips of her and John talking about peace.

I also want to mention here Sean Lennon's Friendly Fire CD. It's been more than a year since this album was released, and I still listen to it on a regular basis. There are just ten tracks on Friendly Fire (there is also a companion DVD that has a video for each song), but each song is solid, polished, and even better when listened to with headphones. I've seen Sean twice live in support of this album, and the songs and his performance were excellent.

It's hard to believe that not only such a solid CD, but also John Lennon's son could fly so far under the radar. Maybe it's better that way. Sean has a loyal following, fans who attend his concerts, know all the lyrics, sing along to each song. Maybe it's easier this way; maybe Julian Lennon's early career so soon after John's death eased the way for Sean. Or maybe Sean's music is different enough from his father's that the comparisons just aren't made (as opposed to Julian, who suffered the comparisons, especially since his voice sounds so much like his father's). Whatever, this is a CD that deserves a wider audience, and I'll continue to listen to it and enjoy it as I wait for Sean's next one.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Breaking it Down


I had the pleasure of meeting author Rusty Barnes at the Boxcar Lounge in the East Village recently. This was the first of a new reading series hosted by Tuesday Shorts' Shelly Rich. He read three stories from his book Breaking it Down, an excellent collection of 18 flash fiction stories in a handy pocket-size paperback.

It's truly amazing what Barnes can accomplish with so few words. A story is considered flash fiction if it is not more than 1,000 words, and Barnes uses even less than that at times. But the characters he creates, their worlds and histories, their dreams, hopes, and regrets speak volumes. His prose pulls you right in, as with this opener to "Beamer's Opera":

Every morning when Beamer milked the cows he sang from his favorite operas, attaching the nozzles to their bags and patting them each on the flank, bursting into vibrato-laden songs of despair and longing while his hands were occupied with his very necessary tasks. He imagined the cows with their deep brown eyes and kind souls were listening to him as he roared forth regret and lust and love and sorrow in an alien tongue.

I definitely recommend this book. I couldn't put it down; as soon as I finished one story, I was on to the next before I even realized it. You might say I read this book in a flash. ; )

Monday, December 03, 2007

The Living Glove


I have these houseplants in my apartment, the kind that you can't kill, the kind that don't need much attention. Just some water and an occasional stick of plant food. Sometimes I'll take a shoot off one and create a new plant. They are all thriving, with leaves that extend for many feet.

One particular plant has grown so much, it has actually incorporated my baseball glove in its expansion (which speaks to how much I have used the glove recently). Look at the above photo. See how one of those tendril things has wrapped around the glove's stitching? What do I do now?

I've left it like that.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

New story in Skive magazine


My story Change Is Good is in the December issue of Skive Magazine, available now! It's a paperback, 250 page, 6" x 9" perfect bound book—perfect for gift-giving. It includes 46 stories from a great group of international writers. (It's also available as an e-book.) Support independent writing and publishing!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Joshua Tree at 20, plus a rant


Wanna feel old? It has been 20 years since U2 released their landmark album The Joshua Tree. That's right, 20 years! To commemorate the anniversary, the album has been remastered and reissued, and now includes a second disc with all of the B-sides from the original singles. Also included is "Wave of Sorrow," a song written during the Joshua sessions and recently completed for this set (Bono added the vocals to the existing music).

In case you just woke up from a two-decade-long coma, The Joshua Tree is one of THE classic rock albums of all time. Occasionally you'll even catch it topping a list of "Greatest albums of all time," though usually that slot is reserved for the Beates' Sgt. Pepper. So if you don't own the album, wipe the 20-year sand from your eyes, stretch those coma-tight muscles, and find your way down to Best Buy (don't bother looking around for a record store—they don't exist anymore) or hop onto iTunes and download the deluxe version for $16.99 (single disc version is $9.99).

Now that the plug is done, it's time for me to rant. U2 has long been my favorite band (besides the Beatles, who are in another league. Basically it's the Beatles, then everyone else. Oh, and Bjork is a close second behind U2). So, on to my complaint.

I own every U2 album, some of which I've even bought in multiple formats—CD, cassette, vinyl, download. I have their DVDs, their CD singles, I've bought concert tickets for more than twenty years, I've bought t-shirts, calendars, books. Everything. I've given them a lot of my hard-earned mooluh. A lot. And they've earned it by working hard, touring for every album, pushing themselves to do better; it would have been easy for them to just do Joshua Tree part 2, part 3, etc. But they are true artists—they're not Bon Jovi. They've experimented, expanded their sound, took some risks. And they haven't spent their (my) money foolishly, landing in rehab, or packing a gun like Puff Daddy. And we all know of Bono's humanitarian acts.

So. I wonder why I still can't buy the two new songs that were included on last year's "best of" collection U218. See, I already have the first 16 songs of that collection. Multiple times. All I want are the two new ones (the excellent "Window In the Skies" and the raucous collaboration with Green Day "The Saints Are Coming"). But if you go to iTunes and look it up, those songs are only available if you buy the whole 18-song package. Do I really need to spend $15.99 just to get two songs? I wrongly thought that when the album was released in Nov. 2006, that after some time they would make the two songs available individually. Here it is a year later and you still can't download those songs. Who is the greedy party here? Is it U2, or is it Apple? Why can't I spend my money to legally download these two songs?! I want to give U2 another $1.98 of my money, but I guess they don't want it.

This harkens back to the pre-Apple iTunes era when people were forced to illegally download songs because there was no alternative. Music fans were ahead of the curve then; the record companies had no clue what to do. They were still pumping out those CDs, spending money on printing, packaging, shipping, warehousing. But the people spoke and wanted to download! And idiots like Metallica complained and sued, instead of giving the people what they wanted. The people wanted to buy the music—just not in an outdated format. Then Apple came along to save the day, and get the money back into the hands of the artists. Everyone was happy.

But now I can't buy those two frigging songs that I want. So, I'm going old school. If anyone wants to send me those two songs as MP3s, please let me know. With all the money I've given U2 over the years, I won't feel guilty about a couple of freebies.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Re-Kindle Your Love of Reading


Amazon has just launched the Kindle, which seems to be the definitive electronic book reader (so far). It works on its own, too—you don't need a computer to download or sync with. How it works is through wireless connectivity (like a cell phone). You go to Amazon and download the book you want (more than 88,000 titles currently available), with the cost of new releases and best sellers just $9.99. More than books, the Kindle also lets you read newspapers, magazines, and blogs. You can also read Word documents and view pictures. It also has a built-in dictionary.

The Kindle seems poised to bury Sony's Reader. The Sony Reader must be attached to a computer for downloading, and is only available for the PC (sorry Mac users). Plus the Kindle has the advantage of linking directly to Amazon, the king of online book purchases. It holds over 200 titles, and Amazon claims the battery life last for over 1,000 page turns, with the recharge time just two hours.

I've only seen the Kindle online (watch the short demonstration video on the product page in the link above), and I like its many attributes, but one thing looks like it could still stand improvement. In the demo video, the page flip and scroll plastic buttons seem downright antiquated, especially with the touch screen flashiness of the Apple iPhone setting the standard on handheld devices. Maybe the Kindle's next model with incorporate a similar operating system. Oh, and how cool would it be if they added audio, so you could choose between reading and listening to a book?

The price is $399.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

The day the mobile shredder came to town


There was a message on my answering machine when I got home from work Thursday night. "The mobile shredder is coming to Tuckahoe!" the recording said. "Between 10am-2pm in Depot Square." Holy crap. This was a dream come true. It was like hearing my favorite rock star was coming to town to play an intimate show at the local cafe, and I was chosen to attend.

Why was I so excited? Well, I had fallen far behind in my shredding. You know, all those personal documents with bank statements, credit card numbers, social security numbers, etc. that can't just be thrown in the trash anymore because there are criminals out there sifting through your garbage while you sleep at night. Turning trash bins over like raccoons. They're stealing your numbers, stealing your identity, jetting off to exotic places all on your dime. And they must be stopped!

I had a very small shredder, a one-sheet-at-a-time kind that died suddenly last year. I had a backlog by the time I got around to buying another one. This one was slightly larger, promised to do more than one sheet at a time, you could even shred a credit card if need be. Still, by then I had a plastic bag full of documents—with more flooding in on a daily basis. Feeding these statements in by hand was hopeless, endless, like Lucy trying futilely to wrap all those chocolates on the conveyer belt before they passed her by. I just couldn't keep up. And damned if I'd start eating them. I began to wish for a huge shredder I could dump the whole load into in one shot. The size of a woodchipper. Something industrial, like Hillary used to shred her Whitewater papers. A magical machine to remove the paper albatross from around my neck.

Then, I got the call.

I went though all of my papers then. I found new piles of mail I had forgotten about. By the time I was done I had a whole Trader Joe's brown shopping bag full of sensitive, identity-laden documents. But I had to wait till Sunday morning at ten o'clock for the big moment. I was like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning. And on top of it all I had to wait an extra hour, thanks to the clocks being turned back during the night.

Finally the moment I was waiting for arrived. It was a beautiful, sunny morning. I grabbed hold of the bag and walked down to Depot Square with an extra spring in my step. There, as promised, was the mobile shredder. What a sight to behold! I was one of the first people there, and only had to wait a minute before my papers were dumped in and shot back out into the bin, cross-cut and indecipherable. What a thrilling moment! What would have taken me months to do by hand was completed in seconds. My only regret was that I couldn't do the honor myself.

Afterward, I lingered because there was also a farmer's market. Cars began to pull in to the lot, happy people with boxes full of paper to shred. Everyone stood around to watch the results, to make sure their sensitive papers were obliterated. People laughing, smiling, relieved. People united in a single cause. The mobile shredder is a uniter, not a divider. What a thing, this mobile shredder!

Now I can do one of two things. Either work with a clean slate, stay on top of my personal documents, shred them as they come in. Or I can save up again, squirrel away my statements for the next time the mobile shredder comes to town. Either way I can't lose.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

The Understory by Pamela Erens



The Understory is a great debut novel from Pamela Erens (it was the winner of the Ironwood Press Fiction Prize). This is one of those books you just want to stay home from work to finish reading. The lead character is Jack Gorse, an unemployed loner whose daily routines (that border on OCD) give him a purpose in life. (In this sense the writing reminds me of the best of Magnus Mills, the way you as the reader slip into the character's mind and daily doings.) The routines, however, are upset when Jack is evicted from his apartment. Things begin to spiral out of control for him without these routines, and as he loses his grip on life, he grasps at the straws of an impossible/imagined relationship.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Seinfeld is a jerk


So I tuned into David Letterman on Monday night because former Yankees manager Joe Torre was a scheduled guest. As an added bonus, Jerry Seinfeld was also on the show. Wow, I thought, this is great! I've been a fan of Seinfeld since the beginning. Since before the beginning—when he was just a stand-up comedian on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. Seinfeld was there to promote his new animated movie, Bee Movie, about a Seinfeld-esque bee who leaves the hive and has adventure in the human world.

At one point during the interview, I was surprised that the subject of Jerry's wife's alleged plagiarism came up. Jessica Seinfeld has a cookbook, Deceptively Delicious, just published by HarperCollins, that gives recipes on how to slip healthy food into your childrens diets by mashing up veggies and such and putting them into other foods that a child is more inclined to eat, like a brownie. The problem is that The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, a very similar book by an author named Missy Chase Lapine is already in print, published by Running Press in April 2007. At one point Lapine even submitted the book to HarperCollins, who rejected it. So when Jessica Seinfeld's book hit the shelves with a big splashy promotion budget and an appearance on Oprah, Lapine cried foul. Or more accurately, plagiarism. Which is understandable.

But on Letterman, Seinfeld explained the situation by repeatedly calling Lapine (who he didn't mention by name) a "wacko." He said "So this woman says, `I sense this could be my wacko moment.' So she comes out ... and she accuses my wife. She says, `You stole my mushed-up carrots. You can't put mushed-up carrots in a casserole. I put mushed-up carrots in a casserole. It's vegetable plagiarism.'" He even compared her to the "wackos" who have stalked David Letterman. It was actually uncomfortable to watch.

What an asshole. I realize he was going for the easy laughs, and that most people watching probably weren't aware of the specifics of the case. So they took him at his word. But fuck shit, if I submitted a book that was rejected, and then Seinfeld's wife published a very similar one with the same publisher that had rejected mine—I'd definitely point it out too. Unfortunately, that's how publishing works. People steal ideas, and yes, people also come up with the same ideas independently. But it doesn't make you a "wacko" if you want the situation looked into.

Lapine didn't deserve to be attacked so viscously on such a public platform. Isn't it enough that her idea was (allegedly) stolen by a celebrity's wife? That her book will never match the sales of someone who had the good sense to dump her husband right after the honeymoon to marry Jerry Seinfeld? Does she deserve to be labeled a "wacko"? I don't think so.

"It was painful to be called names on national TV," Lapine said, "when I am just a mom who wrote a cookbook to help parents get their kids to eat well."

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

How many days till spring training?

Well, the Yankees lost in the first round of the playoffs once again. I was at the game. It wasn't a fun game to watch because they were never really in it. Down 4-0 after just two innings against Cleveland's number four starter, you'd think the Yanks would bang their way right back into the game, pound away until they grabbed the lead. That's what they did in the second half of the season when they turned their year around after a dreadful 21-29 start and a 42-43 all-star break record. They were on a roll, reinvigorated with the influx of new young homegrown players like Cano, Melky, Joba, Hughes, Duncan, Kennedy.

But the Yankees just can't score in the post season anymore. And it's not the old cliche of "good pitching beats good hitting" because, in the Yanks' case, bad pitching also beats good hitting. The attack of the gnats in Game 2 didn't help, either. So it's another season lost, and another year where Yankee fans have to watch the Red Sox steamroll their way through the post season without us there to stop them.

Changes are coming soon to the Yankees. A lot of players are free agents, including Mariano, Posada, and soon-to-be MVP ARod, if he opts out of his contract. Plus Joe Torre has probably managed his last game in NY. But the future is still promising. The kids are here already and they're the real thing. Cano is 25 and had 97 RBI. Melky (23) took the CF job away from Damon. Hughes is 21 and was 5-3, and will be in the rotation next year. Joba is also 21 and will be a starter next year. With Wang and Pettitte (if he exercises his option) heading up the rotation, that's a damn strong first 4. Mussina will hang around as the fifth starter since he is still under contract.

But who will manage? Despite a rumor about Tony LaRussa, the two obvious choices still are Don Mattingly and Joe Girardi. I'd like to see Girardi since he has managerial experience. Or maybe John Tuturro can reprise his role as Billy Martin from Bronx Is Burning and bring home the pennant once again.

It's gonna be a long off-season.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Sony blowing a good chance?



So, Sony announced today that they have a new version of the Sony Reader. They launched the original version a year or two ago, didn't know how to market it, and it didn't sell very well. Now they are back with an updated version, hoping to catch lightning by having the first real reader out there to capture the digital market in its infancy. Great idea. I'm all for a digital revolution. Oh, I'll always love to hold a real book in my hands, feel the pages, smell the pulp, stare at the cover art. But that will only be on special occasions, for the books that I know I want to have in my collection, on my shelves, a part of my apartment's decor. The rest I can keep as digital files, to read whenever, wherever, bring along while on vacation, say, or to just have less stuff cluttering my living space.

But Sony isn't letting me be part of the digital revolution.

Why not? Because the Reader isn't compatible with Apple computers. And I'm a Mac user. Only if you have a PC can you use the Reader. Has the wildly successful iPod taught Sony nothing? They are blowing a great chance to take over a new market. Will the Reader go the way of the Betamax tape if Apple decides to do their own version of the Reader and completely obliterate any other competition?

We'll see.

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This was the email I was going to shoot off to Sony, before I realized that they have no email contact information anywhere on their site. Hmmm, I wonder why?

It's good to see a company leading the way in the digital book revolution, but when is the Reader going to be available in a Mac version? Surely the success of the iPod has taught you something. Mac users are forward thinkers, creative people, and by not having an Apple version, you are losing many potential customers. Maybe you are waiting for Apple to put out their version of the Reader so they can steal your customers?