Friday, August 22, 2008

On Chairs

I just moved into a new, bigger apartment (the reason for my recent lack of posts) and need to buy an arm chair and a smaller comfortable chair for my small "library." Sounds easy, right? Wrong. I think I've visited every store I can think of, either online or in person.

I've actually found a couple online that I like, but when you go to the actual store, they don't have them. Internet orders only. Well, besides the fact that I'm impatient and don't want to wait for an order to be shipped, I'd actually like to see the chair before I purchase it. Maybe even sit my rump in it and see if it is comfortable, and something that I'm going to want to use for the next decade or so.

So all of this leads me to the promised land of New Jersey and the magical kingdom of IKEA. And believe it or not, I'm actually excited about the trip. This is what my life has come to. It reminds me of Will Ferrell in Old School, when he first shows up at Mitchapalooza and gives the reason why he doesn't want to drink:

Frank: I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. You guys have a great time.
College Student: A big day? Doing what?
Frank: Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Of course, he does drink, and reverts to his old "Frank the Tank" days:

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

UPDATE 8/24: I went to the Paramus, NJ IKEA on Friday night, and bought the exact chair I had in mind:

This chair was designed by Nobura Nakamura, who clearly is a genius. The chair is stylish and comfortable. In fact the first time I really sat in it, I was asleep within fifteen minutes. I opted not to get the footstool, but may go back for it. Hell, I may even get a second chair!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

The case of the missing hubcaps

That's my car below, a 2005 Toyota Matrix. I love it. Stylish, good gas mileage, tons of storage space in back, chick magnet. What more could you want?

Last year I lost a hubcap. Not the end of the world. I just figured I'd order another one. Before I got a chance to, however, I lost another one. Only the two front ones remained. Round about this time I began to notice other Matrixes were also missing hubcaps. (This is on the lower model, not the fancy-ass XRS version, which has actual chrome rims.) In fact, just about every other Matrix I saw was missing at least one hubcap.

One morning last week I left my house to go to work and noticed the front passengers side hubcap had also gone missing.

....And then there was one.

Where have all the hubcaps gone? Why don't they stay on the wheels of Matrixes? Why is Toyota selling cars that don't hold onto their hubcaps? Is Toyota aware of this problem? Or could this be some Detroit-led conspiracy? After all, Toyota is kicking ass and taking names, leading the pack with their hybrid Prius. Or maybe it's some sicko with a hubcap fetish, lurking in the bushes and popping off the hubcaps one at a time to feed his sick desires?

Well, I still have one left. It's only a matter of time before it joins its hubcap brothers, leaving my wheels naked and my car looking like some Manhattan gypsy cab. But I have to admire its tenacity. Maybe it'll stick around after all.

UPDATE 8/22: I've order new tires and new rims. Yes, real rims. No more hubcaps needed! Right after Labor Day I should have them on my car. If my last remaining hubcap sticks around till then, what should I do with it?